A letter to one of Julia’s Staffers

I sent the following letter to one of Julia Gillard’s staffers after reading an extract from her speech to Howe’s boys. This is the letter.

The Office of Her Majesty,
The Prime Minister of Australia,
Our Virgin Queen,
Ms Julia Gillard.

To whom it may concern,

I was confused by a couple of section’s of Prime Minister Gillard’s speech at the AWU national conference this week relating to the core principles of the Labor party. Would you be able to assist me?

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Smug Pollution Alert

There are many uncertainties that have arisen as a result of the federal election on the 21st of August. On thing that is certain is that for the foreseeable future the people of south-eastern Australia will be dealing with the sever environmental and weather effects of high concentrations of smug. A smug alert has been issued. The pollution is emanating from various locations in Australia but is at dangerous levels of concentration in and around the federal seat of Melbourne. The most common ailment brought about by the smug pollution is choking as a result of incidents of I-vomited-a-little-bit-in-my-mouth syndrome, in some cases this has been so sever as to result in death.

A portion of a documentary on Smug Pollution:

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Gillard, The Mining Tax and the Coming Election

This week Tony Abbott was reputed to have declared that victory was within his grasp and Julia Gillard grasped it. Tony’s comment was derided as a bit impolite – it being generally conceded that to talk up ones chances beyond the avoidance of failure is in some way untoward. Nevertheless, Tony’s comment was given an endorsement in Gillard’s promotion. The drastic Labor leadership change is an attempt to stymie the steady descent of the government’s prospects at the next election.

The seat shuffling was done in the hope that that odd fascination with novelty on the part of the electorate, that phenomenon that saw people vote out Howard because ‘it was time for another guy to have a go,’ will be assuaged with the introduction of Gillard. But if this remains the only change to occur, it will only succeed on the twin assumptions that if Tony and Julia were in a TV soap, Tony would be seen as the bad guy and that Tony and the Liberal party have no coherent belief in what justice is.

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